


10 Truths (+1 Lie)

by kyaticlikestea



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 10 Things, Fluff, Humour, Lists, M/M, Mild Angst, Romance, author is a soppy git, mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 21:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaticlikestea/pseuds/kyaticlikestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten facts about the relationship between Mycroft Holmes and Greg Lestrade, and one common misconception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 Truths (+1 Lie)

  1. Greg cannot cook to save his life. After the divorce – and really, who didn’t see that coming? – he survived on Pot Noodles and black coffee for about a month. He did attempt to make himself a meal of beans on toast after two weeks but this ended in a very unfortunate accident in which he ruined his best tie. After that, he decided to stick to what he knew he could do; pour boiling water onto dried noodles made of preservatives, starch and disappointment. Fortunately for him, Sherlock deduced his appalling diet from the colour of his fourth fingernail on his left hand, and before he knew it, he found himself in a black car, sitting next to a man he’d only ever seen in the distance at crime scenes. The man had looked at him tightly, pronounced ‘it’s even worse than I was led to believe’ and promptly took him to the most expensive restaurant in town. Over a four course meal consisting of more calories than Greg could even hope to keep track of, Greg learnt that Mycroft Holmes is very much like his brother in many ways, but very unlike him in even more. Where Sherlock is a sneer, Mycroft is a disapproving quirk of the lip. Where Sherlock is an exasperated sigh, Mycroft is the tapping of an umbrella on linoleum. And where Sherlock is an order, Mycroft is a carefully worded request. Both brothers are effective in their complete and utter _Holmesness_ , but Greg could write essays on Mycroft.  
  

  2. Mycroft, despite popular opinion to the contrary, is not particularly enamoured of cake. Certainly, if he is forced to attend functions whereby cake will be provided, he will think of queen and country and force himself to eat a slice (although whether he will ever manage to digest it is another matter entirely). Therefore, the first time he was invited to Gregory Lestrade’s office in a more than professional capacity in order to attend the leaving party of one of Gregory’s subordinates, he found himself crossing his fingers that perhaps the retiree was a celiac. His hopes were to no avail. Mycroft went hungry that night.  
  

  3. Greg is entirely aware of his status as something of a heartthrob amongst his fellow police officers. He’s overheard the words ‘silver fox’ and ‘George Clooney’ more than once from the hushed lips of excited secretaries. He tends to accept it with an eyeroll and a distracting mountain of paperwork. Mycroft is rather less accepting of it. Prone to jealousy, if he overhears another refer to his beloved as ‘that grey-haired inspector with the nice arse’, he’ll more often than not find himself quivering at the want to assert the fact that Gregory Lestrade might be the most desirable man at the Yard, but he has chosen Mycroft Holmes. If Greg sees him react this way, he’ll react one of two ways depending on his mood. If the paperwork is getting too much, he’ll curtly clasp his lover’s hand, reassure him that he’s still here. If he’s feeling particularly congenial, he’ll pull Mycroft in by the waist and snog the living daylights out of him in the hallway. This tends to please the squealing receptionists just as much.  
  

  4. Sherlock did not react as Mycroft had feared to the news that he and Gregory had become an item. As the elder of the two brothers, Mycroft had managed to conceal the affair rather successfully for the better part of two months via the tactical switch to the same brand of cologne and a new phone, and it was this success at pulling the wool over his eyes that irked Sherlock the most. When he had come to terms with that, he presented Mycroft with a box of PG Tips and told him to ‘get used to it’. That is one sacrifice that Mycroft has not yet made for the relationship.  
  

  5. Greg and John meet up monthly to discuss the idiosyncracies of their respective Holmes brothers. It’s one of the highlights of Greg’s week. Greg is pretty sure that the bartender at their local pub thinks that he and John are a couple. They, obviously, are not. Greg is also pretty sure that Sherlock and John are a couple. He is considering compiling a list of reasons as to why he thinks this and presenting it to the bartender in order to get his opinion on the matter. He doesn’t want to ask Mycroft. Not yet.  
  

  6. Surprisingly, Anthea has proven to be more than amenable to Mycroft’s change in relationship status, not once bemoaning his lack of dedication to his work or tactfully arranging an appointment with Korean dignitaries on their anniversary. In fact, she has been known to reschedule meetings with people as important as the Queen herself just to make sure that Mycroft makes it to the restaurant on time. Mycroft likes to think that this is because she respects him so highly as her superior. Greg likes to think it’s because, underneath that pristinely pressed trouser suit, Anthea is actually human. Anthea likes to think she does it for an easy life.  
  

  7. Greg is not a morning person. Despite his frequent pre-6am starts, it usually takes him at least four attempts to resist hitting the ‘snooze’ button on his alarm. Conversely, Mycroft is an obscenely early riser, usually awakening at 6.30am. These opposing tendencies have proven rather symbiotic, however, and it’s become the norm for Greg to refuse to wake up, burying himself into a cocoon of expensive Egyptian cotton sheets, until Mycroft plops a tray of breakfast (containing four slices of toast and marmalade, a mug of almost illegally strong coffee and a yoghurt) on the table beside him and drops a kiss on his forehead. Greg thinks that that’s the most important part. He doesn’t tell that to Mycroft. Mycroft is very proud of his breakfasts.  
  

  8. The beverage of choice in the Lestrade-Holmes house is, of course, tea. Mycroft is a staunch denier of PG Tips and Tetley. He has been known to accept a drink of coffee over a mug of PG Tips, which is somewhat akin to a fan of classical music listening to AC/DC over Bach, and honestly believes that Tetley teabags are full of sweepings from the floor (“and broken dreams”, Greg often teases). As such, the cupboards are stocked with loose leaf tea from Whittards and Twinings and, in the interests of political peace, Fairtrade teabags. He does, however, pointedly leave these for visitors.  
  

  9. Greg is a closet fan of 80s rock music. He thinks he is more embarrassed about this than he ought to be, especially as Mycroft has confessed a secret liking of Englebert Humperdink. However, when he dances around the kitchen to Pulp whilst doing the dishes, he’s careful to make sure he has his headphones in. Mycroft, who has been known to describe the music of Pulp as ‘aptly named’, much prefers the sight of Gregory dancing without the soundtrack.  
  

  10. Mycroft is certain that Gregory is the man he will, one day, marry. Greg is pretty sure that he’s going to walk down the aisle with Mycroft one day. Mycroft has purchased a ring – an expensive ring at that – which he carries in his pocket at all times, should the moment present itself to propose. Greg makes sure that he has his grandad’s ring in his wallet every time he leaves the house, just in case. Neither knows that the other plans to propose on their fourth anniversary. Sherlock knows, of course, but he hasn’t told them. He’s a sociopath, not a psychopath.  
  
  

  11. It’s a common belief that Mycroft Holmes, the Ice Man, is incapable of love or affection. Greg Lestrade could prove that wrong in ten seconds if he could show the accuser his lover’s tender kisses before bed, the more frantic ones that follow and the skin on skin touches that finish in proclamations of love and forever. He’s glad that it’s his moment to cherish, though. He likes having the other man to himself, and thankfully, Mycroft is only too happy to oblige.




End file.
